"WE 'NEVER' SAID GOOD-BYE"


Dear Folks:

We can never be sure what news each morning and each nightfall will bring to dampen our lives with tears and fill our hearts with pain and sadness. But, one thing we can be sure of, is that most of us associated with the Music industry and affiliated with the world of the Hank Williams Family are feeling the same sad pain . On February 6, 2005, not only did another "country legend" go to rest, but one that was as dearly loved as much as ole Hank himself. In fact, had it not been for this "fourteen-year-old" meeting up with Hank and Audrey Williams in 1949, we may never have heard of the "Legendary, Merle Kilgore."

Hauling Ole Hank's guitar up those stairs at "The Louisiana Hayride" in Shreveport, at the age of fourteen, introduced a young Kilgore to the kind of country music he knew he had to become part of.... and "part of it"... he did become! Having developed and accomplished "Hall Of Fame" talent as a singer/songwriter, and having honed his business skills to add "Manager Of The Year" among his many achievements, I believe that it is safe to say that "Merle Kilgore" is the most respected name in Nashville and the Music Industry..... But, not for those reasons alone.

It is for certain that the number of those befriended and helped by "Merle Kilgore" during the brief 70 plus years we were blessed to have him, could only be guesswork by any mere calculations. Men of his "caliber" simply are few and far between. We're all aware of the role that Merle has played in the career and personal life of his lifelong friend and "Little Brother" Hank, Jr. But, are you aware of how many lives have been blessed through the efforts and example set by Merle Kilgore in showing kindness, and fellow feeling toward others; even many he didn't know? I'm sure some of those reading this message are among them.

Some years back, seriously ill and staring the "inevitable" in the face, I called Merle and asked him to "tie up" some loose ends for me. True to his nature and being the gentleman he was, like a true friend "in times of need," Merle obliged without hesitation. But, he did not let it end there. Knowing how ill I was, he would call just to check up on me and boost my day along. Though time may have only permitted a little "tidbit" of his day, he would swap a story or relate some "cute" little antics or comments of the "Williams munchkins," Katie and Sam; or relate how well they were doing in school....Like a proud uncle. We always laughed a lot during our phone visits.

My being a native Alabamian and him having lived in Alabama, Merle could relate to some of the places and events in the stories about my family. He said he enjoyed my stories (all true and most of them funny) and always encouraged me to write a novel. I used to tease him about trying to trick me into writing a novel, so I would have less time to write him such long letters and emails of my stories. He would laugh and tell me that he appreciated them and read every one of them, even though some were long.

Merle Kilgore was a friend and mentor to me for several years. Though "bedridden" and with progressively failing health from Lupus, Merle refused to hear me say "quit." He gave me the encouragement, mentoring and fellow love that it took for me to start a worldwide production and promotional business in the Country Music Industry.... "FROM MY BED, COMPUTER AND TELEPHONE!" I could never relate how interesting the experience has been.

When I needed him, no matter how busy he was, all I had to do was call or even email... "Merle, Help!" and before I could get offline to answer "Hello," he was on the phone with that loving, raspy, warm and kind voice saying "Aannne, are you all right?" My having a difficult time standing, walking and even sitting due to pain and poor coordination from injuries received in a fall, and neither of us being youngsters, he was forever cautioning me to take care of myself; while assuring me that he would do the same for himself. Merle seemed to exuberate with energy. He loved the business he was in and being able to work seemed to keep him going and happy.

Merle and I were in touch the week before he and his wife Judy left for Mexico to seek out options for his lung cancer treatment. He was having trouble sleeping and asked me if I had any suggestions. We discussed alternative treatments and Mexico; as Branson star and friends Jim Owen and his wife were there at the time. Yvette Owen had gone there for alternative cancer treatment, and Merle wanted to know about the programs available. (UPDATE On Yvette: On February 25, I received an encouraging message from Jim that after 6 weeks of nutritional treatment, Yvette is showing noticible improvement in enzyme counts and said that he cannot begin to tell me how good she feels and how much she is back to her old "sassy" self....lol... Music to our ears.)

Merle tried to email me again before leaving for Mexico, but said that the emails were not coming through to me. That was the last I heard from him. His daughter-in-law, Marty, emailed me that he had to undergo some dental work after arriving there, before he could begin treatments. I had received word, by way of our friend Robert Ackerman in Alaska, the day Merle passed away, that the tumor had responded well to the treatments and had shrunken in size. The message said that he and Judy would be returning home on February 17.

I thanked God for the wonderful news that the treatment was working, and felt so elated for the Kilgore and Hank Jr. families. That was before the rest of the story arrived that evening.

My mother-in-law has been very ill and I had been staying with her day and night at her home. No one knew how to reach me there, and I had not been able to come in and read or answer emails. After someone came to relieve me, my husband and I went to Tuscaloosa to visit my Dad. While there, I checked into our chatroom at KOCR in Ft. Worth, Texas to let the moderating deejay know that I would not be able to be there for the Internet Opry broadcast that evening with Cal Smith. Only an hour later (after returning home) I received a call from station owner Larry Simpson at KOCR Radio in Ft. Worth, when Cal Smith informed him that Merle was about to pass. I gave myself only a moment to wipe my tears and compose myself to call and check on him..... Merle was gone. He died just as I had walked in my door at 8:45 PM.

As you all know, he had quadruple heart bypasses last May. As there was no change in the size of the tumor in his lung, the doctors in Nashville recommended waiting till after December to begin any kind of treatment. That would give him time to recuperate and get built up from the heart surgery and the two back operations he had undergone afterward. Merle wanted to try "alternative" options while there was time to do so. Though treatment was working, there were complications with fluid building, which finally shut down the kidneys and he died of heart failure. He did not die from the cancer.

Knowing he was facing more trying times, Merle still kept a good attitude and even joked along. He had told longtime friend, Don Mealer ("Poobah") that if he didn't make it, he would be up next to June and Johnny (Cash). And that he would have to come there to see to him. (Merle was "Poobah's" manager.) (This is the "Country Singer/Songwriter" "Poobah".....Not the hardrock/psych star of European fame.)

Merle had one of the most wonderful sense of humors of anybody. His telling Poobah he would have to come to see him out there, made me think of his first comical reaction when he saw Hank, Jr. for the first time after Hank fell off Mt. Ajax out in Montana and was hanging onto life by a thread.

Scared to death, Merle walked into Hank's hospital room with tears in his eyes and a quiver in his voice and said "Hank, before you do something like this again, I wish you would think about my job!" (lol... What a loving personality.)

"The Tall Texan" himself, Merle Kilgore, had a heart as big as Texas. I know, because I have "seen" it many times. He was one of the most "humanitarian" and loving "fellow humans" I have ever known. The impression people get of him from the interviews on PBS and A&E/History and CMT channels, is the "true" "reflection" of the man himself. He was just that sweet and warm kind of gentle personality with a great sense of humor who never seemed to meet a stranger.

I was notified by Merle's Assisistant Manager (Kay Knight) that there was an additional visitation arranged on Sunday, February 13th for family and close friends. I went up and spent Sunday and Monday afternoon there with Merle's wife, Judy, and the children. Hank, Jr. and his wife Mary Jane arrived at the same time I did on Monday. It was clear that Hank was still reeling in the strain of the untimely news he had received eight days before. We held each other and shared our reminisces in our sorrow. The only time I saw him laugh was when I recalled what I asked my dad when Jr. was about 7 months old. We always listened to Daddy Hank's radio shows and him telling Bocephus (Hank, Jr.) that he was on his way home (of course, I knew who Rod Brasfield and 'his' Bocephus were) and I asked dad one night...."Why'd he call him Bocephus, daddy; did they have a little 'dummy' too?".... Hank, Jr. bent double laughing and said something about 'that summing him up all right'....lol... (Thus, why I sometimes call him 'Sawdust'.)

Little did I realize at that time how much a wonderful seventeen year old friend of Hank, Jr's would play in my life many years down the road. Merle Kilgore was that boy, and he was there when Hank, Jr. was born and there for him all the way to the end. As Hank and I stood near Merle's casket on Monday, one of our same thoughts about this dear gentle man was that Hank, Jr. could not have asked for a better father or mother figure, brother, business manager or friend than he had in Merle Kilgore. He had been all those things to Jr. all his life. Through the best and the worst, an understanding Merle Kilgore lovingly stood unbiased and unconditionally beside his 'little brother' and best friend.

How many times have we lost someone dear to us and regretfully said... "I wish I had told them how much they had contributed to the positive things in my life; and how much they really meant to me?" That has happened to me more times than I care to relate. But this was one I won't have to feel "regrets" over not having "told" in time.

In 2003 I wrote the following poem to Merle in expression of my gratitude for all that he had meant to me. Merle was bowled over and expressed genuine appreciation for it. In lieu of flowers, I sent his dear wife Judy and family a copy of that poem.... In remembrance of him. At the time it was penned, little did I know that in only two short years that poem would become my "Farewell Message" to a good friend who will remain dear and long in my heart ..."Merle Kilgore."


"ALWAYS MERLE"

Always, Merle, know that ways to say "Thank You" will never be enough for all you have meant to me during my time so rough.

Always, A friend in times of real need.... Truly a friend to be beloved, indeed.

Always, A "lean" ... on whom one can depend... no "fair-weather" fella is that kind of friend.

Always, There to calm the storm in the cloud, by calling to say "How you doing, Anne..." even when time really doesn't allow.

Always, Encouragement and kindness you've shown, by pushing me for just one more day, when you knew it took that to help me go on.

Always, By remembering others and me in prayer, I just knew that was a feeling we both truly shared.

Always, I hope that one day we'll meet "face to face" and you'll say to me "...What are you doing here in this place?" And I'll say "..Why, Merle, didn't you know...It takes one to know one, for Brotherhood to grow."

Always, Know that the help that you shared, gave me the strength (when I wasn't supposed to be able) to pass it along to someone else at that "table."

Always, Our hearts will show that we care, if we remember to include others, when we pull up our "chair."

Always, We'll find a kind of love that will heal up pain, if we truly care for others and not just those we call "Brothers" by name.

Always, Imagine...a whole world.... filled with Brotherly love, in time we'll see, cause that is what GOD in His Infinite Love, promised to be.

Always, Peace of mind and contentment will be ours and blessings bestowed will be "ten-fold"...in "showers."

Always, If we take the time to share it with others....we'll se them too, become real fellow brothers.

Always, Many refuse this frame of mind; they just cannot believe...it won't cost them a dime. Maybe they don't know or have never been told that "LOVE" was something that GOD "Never" sold.

Always, Rich or poor.... whatever we be.... no one can ever say "...I could never afford that..."because after all, "Agape Love" is "Always" free.

Thank you, Merle for "Always," in "All Ways," sharing that kind of fellow love and concern for me and for others.

"Always" your friend, fan, buddy and "Always"... Love to you, dear Brother.
Anne W. Blake/2003


Strange, but Merle and I never closed emails or phone calls with "good-bye." It was "See you later, pard"... or ... "Take care and love to Judy"... or ... "Have a good one"... and sometimes just plain "Later, Big Brother." But, he always ended with "GOD BLESS." Tonight as my heart grieves, I can still not say "good-bye" but only "See ya' later, dear friend." And I will say to you all what Merle himself would have said to his fans and friends.... "TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS."
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UPDATE: 3/3/05
Greetings to everyone:

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am sort of back in pocket, in case you have been trying to reach me lately. Things health-wise are still trying to mend for my mother-in-law and my husband; and they are slowly improving.

I wish to thank every one of you for your condolences regarding the loss of my dear friend, Merle Kilgore. I passed them on to Merle's wife, Judy, and the family.

It is so hard to think of working without Merle, and I have felt the urge to not continue with it. But, then I feel a guilt streak come across me when I visualize Merle saying, "Are you gonna quit, Anne?" "After all the effort and work put into it?" That gave me strength to keep prodding myself to continue with what we had started; and to finish our projects.

Anne Blake, Director
Bibb Promotional Production

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Subj: CMT article on Merle's service
Date: 2/27/05 12:29:08 AM Central Standard Time
From: ANNEWALKERBLAKE



Tue. February 15.2005 6:31 PM EST


Family and Friends Celebrate Merle Kilgore's Life

Marty Stuart, Kid Rock, Big &Rich and Wynonna Perform at Ryman Auditorium Calvin Gilbert.

"America (The Way I See It)"

"This is the Merle Kilgore show," Marty Stuart told the crowd while emphasizing that applause was definitely encouraged during the gathering that featured musical performances by Kid Rock, Big & Rich, Wynonna and others.

Kilgore, one of the country music industry's most beloved characters, died Feb. 6. During two hours of great music, lots of laughs and a few tears, family and friends celebrated his life during a gathering Tuesday (Feb. 15) at the Ryman Auditorium in downtown Nashville.

Kilgore enjoyed a successful songwriting career (including co-writing "Ring of Fire" with June Carter Cash) before spending more than two decades as Hank Williams Jr.'s personal manager.

Aside from the music, Kilgore would have taken pleasure in being remembered for his wicked sense of humor, his savvy business sense and, not the least of all, his collection of gold jewelry. In fact, mentions of him flashing his rings became a recurring theme Tuesday.

Kilgore apparently even wanted an impressive funeral procession as he made his way to the Hendersonville Memory Gardens. As his friend, talent agent Greg Oswald, explained to the crowd, "One announcement: On our trip to the graveside, there will be no carpooling. Any of you who do try to carpool will be removed, given a car and moved to the back of the line."

Stuart and Travis Tritt hosted the memorial service. In one of his recollections, Tritt said he and Williams once interrupted a fishing trip in Paris, Tenn., to have lunch with Kilgore at the local marina. When his management client was not present, Kilgore told Tritt, "I'm just trying to get Bocephus [Williams] to look at some of these prospective dates out there. There's a lot of money on the table, brother. A lot of money."

Tritt continued, "He said, 'You know, Travis, in this world that we live in, there are no guarantees. You know, Jesus could come next week, next month, next year. But if we took these dates now, at least we'd have the deposits."

Wiping tears from his eyes, Williams' voice trembled briefly when he began to read a message he had written. It appeared in the printed program at the service.

Brother:
I went to the office today,
But found out you weren't there.
And yet the more I searched,
I realized that you were everywhere.
'64, '79, '80s, '90s, Millennium too.
There were so many pictures,
So many memories,
Together me and you.
You carried Dad's guitar in Shreveport.
You were my link to him.
Like a brother, like a father,
And always, always no matter what ... my friend!
I had a dream so beautiful and serene.
Do not grieve, for from Heaven He's called.
"Brother you won't believe ... I've made the biggest deal of all!"

The musical performances began early in the service when Stuart revamped Tom T. Hall's "Me and Jesus" into an a cappella version as "Merle and Jesus." Stuart accompanied his wife, Connie Smith, on "Wayfaring Stranger." Singer-songwriter Holly Williams, Hank Jr.'s daughter, accompanied herself on piano to sing "Say Goodbye." Kid Rock showed up in a black suit and acoustic guitar to perform "I Saw the Light." After a spoken word introduction by Big Kenny, Big &Rich sang "I Pray for You." Wynonna closed the service with "How Great Thou Art." Other performances were provided by Penny DeHaven and Kilgore's granddaughters, Leah and Sara McBee.

Country Music Hall of Fame member Brenda Lee offered one of the most eloquent observations of the day.

"Merle brought laughter to every room he entered, and he was a friend to all within the reach of my voice," she said. "He challenged us in the industry to remember the dream that brought us into this industry that he so passionately loved. He was more than a big man with a big heart. He was a huge man, with a big, big, big heart. If riches can be counted in the legacy of the lives you touch and the hearts that will never forget you, look around this room today, and it tells me that Merle Kilgore indeed did just fine."

Among those attending the service were Kenny Chesney, George Jones and Brooks &Dunn's Kix Brooks.